I always imagined that when I moved out I would be useless at cleaning. It wouldn't be so much that I couldn't clean that would be the issue, but rather that I would simply leave it until it got too bad for me. I always imagined I would have very bad standards of what is, and what isn't "too filthy" and going by the state of mine and my brothers room in the past, that's not that surprising.
That's not to say we were that bad. Certainly wouldn't've appeared on How Clean Is Your House? at any rate. However we were pretty bad, and I recall more than one momen of pure filth, and a few stains on the carpet whose origins are pretty bad. I'm not talking conventional stains here, I'm talking something really disgusting.
See, what it was, was that I made this cup of coffee. It tasted rank, and rather than do the sensible thing and throw it away, I put it in a flask designed for Jack Daniels and left it. For a year. Naturally it was a case that I simply forgot about it, and I wasn't planning to leave it for a year.
Anyway, the year passed, and we discoverred it by chance, and that story was re-told to my brother. He, in the interest of seeing what it looked like, poored the contents into an empty bottle of coke, one of the 1.25l ones. Now my brothers supposed to b the sensible one of the pair of us, what with being older, yet he's the one encouraging this.
Another thing about my brother. He's kind of obsessive. Instead of vacuuming, he used to pick all the specks of the dust off the floor and make little balls in the corner with them. I never fully got why he did this, but I assumed he's just untested OCD, or at the very least very easily bored, and we often had very little to do what with how our family were.
So he takes this bottle of what I assume is now more mould than coffee, and starts adding to it. Just leftover drops of things like tea, coke, milkshakes, whatever he happened to be drinking would go in the bottle. Now the coffee alone filled just a little bit of this bottle, but after a while, this botle must've got to a third full when it developed a layer.
They say if you poor water on a chip pan fire it just makes it worse because oil floats on water. This is true, and if you poor some oil into a glass of water it will float to the surface. Put that in a bottle and shake it and it will mix together, but it will soon filter apart and put the oil back on the top.
The same principle was happening with this bottle. In all the stuff that had gone into this bottle in the three weeks since the coffee had gone in, he'd made a floating layer, and a sinking layer. At the bottom of that there were even bits of stuff, like the pulp in some orange juices. It was foul to look at, and thankfully for you, dear reader, I don't have a picture.
Anyway, I wasn't there when it happened, but apparently my brother went to open it, and the whole bottle frothed over, leaving one of the biggest, and most difficult to clean up stains on my carpet. I'm still not entirely sure why it frothed over, I guess the mixture of things became volatile, or maybe my brother shook it, and the layers carbonated it, your guess is as good as mine.
I'm also still not entirely sure why my brother wanted to keep adding it, nor why my mother allowed him to. I imagine that she never saw the bottle, because we'd've both got told off if she had. Which is kind of weird, as we left it right in the open, so my mom must be blinder than I thought...
But I've digressed from my original point a lot. So much infact that it will keep for another time. Unlike that bottle, which I can only imagine has been destroyed, and is rotting in a landfill somewhere.
Of course, if they had any sense, the bottle would've been declared a toxic hazard and dealt with like nuclear waste.
That's not to say we were that bad. Certainly wouldn't've appeared on How Clean Is Your House? at any rate. However we were pretty bad, and I recall more than one momen of pure filth, and a few stains on the carpet whose origins are pretty bad. I'm not talking conventional stains here, I'm talking something really disgusting.
See, what it was, was that I made this cup of coffee. It tasted rank, and rather than do the sensible thing and throw it away, I put it in a flask designed for Jack Daniels and left it. For a year. Naturally it was a case that I simply forgot about it, and I wasn't planning to leave it for a year.
Anyway, the year passed, and we discoverred it by chance, and that story was re-told to my brother. He, in the interest of seeing what it looked like, poored the contents into an empty bottle of coke, one of the 1.25l ones. Now my brothers supposed to b the sensible one of the pair of us, what with being older, yet he's the one encouraging this.
Another thing about my brother. He's kind of obsessive. Instead of vacuuming, he used to pick all the specks of the dust off the floor and make little balls in the corner with them. I never fully got why he did this, but I assumed he's just untested OCD, or at the very least very easily bored, and we often had very little to do what with how our family were.
So he takes this bottle of what I assume is now more mould than coffee, and starts adding to it. Just leftover drops of things like tea, coke, milkshakes, whatever he happened to be drinking would go in the bottle. Now the coffee alone filled just a little bit of this bottle, but after a while, this botle must've got to a third full when it developed a layer.
They say if you poor water on a chip pan fire it just makes it worse because oil floats on water. This is true, and if you poor some oil into a glass of water it will float to the surface. Put that in a bottle and shake it and it will mix together, but it will soon filter apart and put the oil back on the top.
The same principle was happening with this bottle. In all the stuff that had gone into this bottle in the three weeks since the coffee had gone in, he'd made a floating layer, and a sinking layer. At the bottom of that there were even bits of stuff, like the pulp in some orange juices. It was foul to look at, and thankfully for you, dear reader, I don't have a picture.
Anyway, I wasn't there when it happened, but apparently my brother went to open it, and the whole bottle frothed over, leaving one of the biggest, and most difficult to clean up stains on my carpet. I'm still not entirely sure why it frothed over, I guess the mixture of things became volatile, or maybe my brother shook it, and the layers carbonated it, your guess is as good as mine.
I'm also still not entirely sure why my brother wanted to keep adding it, nor why my mother allowed him to. I imagine that she never saw the bottle, because we'd've both got told off if she had. Which is kind of weird, as we left it right in the open, so my mom must be blinder than I thought...
But I've digressed from my original point a lot. So much infact that it will keep for another time. Unlike that bottle, which I can only imagine has been destroyed, and is rotting in a landfill somewhere.
Of course, if they had any sense, the bottle would've been declared a toxic hazard and dealt with like nuclear waste.
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