Good Riddance

Will be glad to see the back of these.

In a few days I'm moving. After years of dreaming and hoping I've finally managed to work things out where I can actually move out of my parents house. Unlike many though, I'm going further than another part of town, I'm moving to another county. Moving up north a fair whack, at least a hundred miles.

And naturally I'm going to get homesick. There's going to be things that I'm going to pine for, things that I'll wish I could do again. I accept that, and am doing this as a counter. This is the list of things I just know I won't miss about where I am now.

My family:

• My brother's ability to sneeze at volumes that would be considered harmful to your hearing.
• My brother's temper tantrums and anger issues related to how much he sucks at computer games.
• My brother's habit of shaking the bunk bed as a way of getting me to stop snoring.
• My sister. Just generally my sister.
• Her boyfriend.
• My mother's yelling at TV shows and sports when she's too involved with the end result.
• My dad asking me at every available opportunity as to whether or not I'd like to be woken, even when he already knows the answer.
• My dad's bizarre obsession with messing around with the internet connection access defaults.
• My mothers foot tapping habit (even though I do it).
• My dad's inability to cover his nose as he sneezes.
• General bodily smells from all my family.
• All the arguments about money that have happened in the past.
• Being woken up by my brother to watch the rubbish he likes to watch.
• Having to go downstairs at 10PM most nights because my brother needs to go to sleep to get up early.

Other Home stuff:

• How all the carpets in this house need a good vacuum.
• How the heating goes off at 10PM and doesn't go on until 7AM in the winter.
• How nobody opens windows in here in the summer
• The fact that people don't move much, so the body heat just builds up in the house making every room hot and humid.
• How nobody ever knocks when entering my room.
• How I can never get a moments alone time when I want one.
• The fact that I get blamed for stuff that's not my fault like how my brother shoves loads of rubbish under my bed.

Work:

• How one of the tills always becomes unconfigured.
• The sheer amount of people who just don't know how to tie up knots.
• Having tonnes of bundles to make of newspaper returns.
• How it's often the case when I have to do that, most everyone else is wandering around with nothing to do.
• One of the Duty Manager's irrational temper tantrums, and abilities to make mountains out of molehills.
• The Manager's memory problems.
• The Manager's random giving of tasks that are entirely unrelated to who is supposed to work in a given department.
• The Barney ride, and the song it plays.
• Just exactly how pointless facing up is when it will only get ruined within an hour of doing it perfectly.

General Customers:

• Being stopped by random people asking inane questions.
• People who protest what the till says based purely on there own inability to read.
• People who you ask "anything else?" to that say "no", and then after you've sub-totaled ask for something else.
• People who when asked "either X or Y?" will say "yes" in reply assuming you know which they're saying yes to.
  
• People who change there minds about things ages after you've dealt with it.
• People who bring two baskets to the kiosk.
• People who want to do two or more bills from one basket.
• People who get in a stress about having/not having a receipt.
• People who think you're personally to blame for issues they have.
• People who start having a go about the age related sales policy
• How everyone always floods in at the last minute for lottery even though you get a week to buy a ticket.
• How everyone comes in last minute on a Sunday.

Specific customers:

• Wheels; the creepy pervert whose banned from half the stores in the area and makes you do everything for him. Has been known to say lewd things to female staff and customers.
  
• The guy who stalked one of my colleagues. His voice grates, his hair is ridiculous, and his dog needs to be trained to not have such separation anxiety.
• The Chinese lady who constantly has to repeat the details of her trivial stories. Constantly. Repeating every part. Over and over. Repeating the same banality constantly, over and over.
• The old lady who always asks "Where do I know you from?" It's working where I work. That's where you know me, you only see me in there.
• The drunk lady with the blue mobility scooter. You're just lazy. You could easily do all the stuff you ask the staff to do, but you don't want to.
• The guy who runs the local Indian takeaway. I don't care about you, I don't know why you think I'm so funny, cos I find you irritating, and don't like you. You wind me up chronically.
• The guy who insisted he be called "Herbert Einstein". You're a twat. You're trying to be cool, and you're really not. Can't stand still to save his life either.

General stuff:

• The scooter/quad bike/motorbike gang that drives around with ridiculously loud engines doing wheelies.
• The cars with the excessively loud car stereos.
• The sheer number of people who recognise me when I'm out and about and talk to me like I should know who they are.
• That kid who spent over a year saying "Peaches" every time he saw me, and insisted I replied.

Add your own pet peeves about where you live in the replies.

All Star Eh?

Z list celebrities then...

Sonic and Sega All Star Racing. The newest game to carry the increasingly flustered looking face of one proud gaming mascot Sonic the Hedgehog. Unveiled recently at E3, the game is basically being hyped as using the Outrun engine, and being a cartoony kart racer. Sonic fans are already filled with dread for three reasons. Firstly, it seems like it's trying to be a cut and paste Mario Kart Clone, and as they learnt from other games, such ideas seldom work well. Secondly, despite Sonic's nature, there is yet to be a decent Sonic racing game, and thirdly, because all new Sonic games are generally bad anyway, and there's nothing to suggest this one won't be any better.

If the name sounds familiar to you, it's because not too long ago we had Sega SuperStar Tennis. This had lead many people to (perhaps correctly) believe Sega is trying to create a "Sega All Star" brand. Now anyone who's played Super Smash Bro's (or it's two sequels) know that the idea of mixing your franchises an be highly successful, when done correctly.

Which is exactly why many are panicking. Sega doesn't have a track record for doing things correctly. They don't even have a track record for adequacy. Heck, if you consider the last few years, you have to wonder how they actually were ever a serious contender to Nintendo in the console wars of the early ninties.

Truth be told, there were two things that gave Sega the upper hand, one was realising that games weren't things for kids, and allowing the violence, but the second, and more obvious reason, is there mascot, Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic was a total cash cow in the early ninties, you put his blue face on anything, and it would sell. In all of videogaming history, the only thing to sell more non-gaming merchandise than Sonic, was Pokémon.

And Sonic still sells to this day. Maybe not in the numbers he used to, but Sonic still sells. Parents might still not be entirely clued up on gaming, but even my mother knows who Sonic the Hedgehog is, and she doesn't know how to put a cartridge in a Mega Drive, let alone actually want to play a game.

So maybe that's why this game is called "Sonic And Sega All Star Racing". To serve as a highlight to the uninformed, that this product contains hedgehogs. But who else will be in this game? Confirmed so far, we have Sonic's sidekick Tails, his arch nemesis Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik (who will probably only be called "Eggman" in game), his rival Shadow, his stalker with a crush Amy, as well as Big, AiAi, and Amigo.

The first five are Sonic characters, as is one of the last three. I'll give you a bit of time to guess which is a Sonic character, and just who the other two are.

Did you get it?

Yep, that's right, the correct answer was "Big the Cat", first shown in Sonic Adventure. The other two are AiAi, from Super Monkey Ball (who was also in Sonic Riders), and Amigo, from Samba De Amigo.

Which leads me quite nicely to one of the problems I have with the idea of "Sega All Stars". Just who are the half these characters? Sega has a handful of instantly recognisable characters, of which all belong to the Sonic series. Now think about the main game that probably inspired the idea of the Sega All Stars, Super Smash Bro's. Far more of those are very recognisable, and have there own series of games. You've got Pikachu from Pokémon, link from Zelda, Samus from Metroid Prime, Kirby from, well Kirby (duh), and a few others all immediately recognisable, even to people who've never played there games.

Whereas Sega has Sonic, and uh... well that's it in terms of recognition. Sure, some of the die hards will know who everyone is, but most of them are unknowns to many. Which is the main problem. And it's annoying, as certain characters keep getting touted out, as if we're supposed to know who they are. AiAi has actually been in more non-SuperMonkeyBall games, than he has Super Monkey Ball games. Same with Amigo, same with Ulala (from Space Channel Five), same with NiGHTS (from NiGHTS), same with more than half the so called stars which Sega like to use to remind us they can do more than make Sonic games.

But the fans are crying out for these franchises. The die hard Sega fans want a new Ristar, they'd love a new Billy Hatcher, and they'd probably kill there own grandmothers for Shenmue 3. If these games from which Sega is derriving it's so called "Stars" from are so popular, where are there sequals? Sure, it might take three years or more to bring out a new Zelda, but there always working on a new one, and link is always somewhere near the public eye. Compare that to last tie you heard of news about a new Samba De Amigo.

However, before you agree with me, consider the recent Wii sequal NiGHTS Journey Into Dreams. It was largely panned as aweful. So maybe Sega are doing the right thing here, keeping certain characters in the spotlight, by tying them, albeit indirectly to a game where there implaccable mascot Sonic will absorb most the blame if it's terrible. Since Sonic games are still selling like crazy, what's another aweful one under his belt? And if this is a success, maybe people will ask about AiAi and his amigos [pun intentional ~ Pots].

If videogames were celebrities, then Mario would be a classical music star. Old fashioned, and not doing anything exciting, but still going, still as popular as ever, and reliable to make money. Meanwhile Pikachu would be a former child actor turned adult star. He had a few shakey years, where he made the transition from something that was insanely popular, to something that wasn't, but he survived, and kept his career intact.

Sonic meanwhile is a washed up rock star. He made tonnes of money earlier in his career, and can still sell out an arena playing his greatest hits, but only the die hard fans love the new stuff, with most agreeing it's terrible. He's had a few moments, but the last few albums weren't great. The "All Stars" though, are Z list celebrities, who were famous years ago for something insignificant, and now spend there whole lives being seen naked, or around more important celebs. There entire career is all about being seen, and while people know who they are, nobody really cares for them, or even has any interest in them.

That is the main problem, nobody knows who these people are, what games they're from, and in all honestly, they're not going to care. This game is going to be targeted to young Sonic fans, the people who brought Sonic Unleashed, and enjoyed it. The ones who weren't even alive when Sonic Adventure came out. Which means the All Stars will continue to exist merely as a lower than low tier of Sonic characters, bellow the scrapped ones like Ray, Nack, and Bean. While Marth and Ness attracted western interest to there respective games, there's not been any talk of more Space Channel Five, even though Ulala has been in loads of games recently.

If this game had the same level of nostalgia factor that Smash Bro's had, and was marketed as a nostalgia piece, then maybe the older gamers would look at it, and interest would pike. This is what worked with Fire Emblem, Smash Bro's gave it interest, because it sold to people who were old enough to buy there own games, and who cared about the characters in it. Sonic and Sega All Star Racing is looking somewhat like a nostalgia piece, but it's being marketed to the wrong audience, and the All Stars are being overshadowed by Sonic.

Meaning we won't see another game with AiAi in. 'Til the next Sonic And Sega All Stars game anyway.